Lost
by Canadino
Summary: From the very beginning, Romano just wanted Spain to cry. How is it that it's totally reversed now? T for implied sex and Romano's foul mouthedness. Spain/SItaly, with implications of Germany/NItaly and Germany/SItaly


**Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.**

Background music: Meant to Live - Switchfoot

**Minimal fluff 09!**

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Lost

The first thought that Romano had when he saw that Spain would be his master was thank goodness it was this smiley guy and not high-strung Austria. He supposes he's off the hook now. The second thought is that this guy is now in charge of him and his freedom has been taken away. He wants to make this man cry. When Spain asks him to come along, he refuses. When he tries to teach him Spanish, he pays him no mind. Romano is determined to make life difficult for Spain.

He becomes aware that Spain wants to trade him for his stupid little brother, and this is unsettling. First of all, he is so much better than weak, crybaby Feliciano. When Spain comes back from trying to negotiate a trade, he attacks Spain with all he has.

When he goes off to visit home, he is kidnapped by Turkey and realizes how helpless he truly is. As much as Romano hates to admit it, he really had to depend on Spain because it wasn't like he could whip out a sword and whup this guy's ass. Without much major resistance, he is tied up and thrown in the back of a carriage. Romano is ready to accept his fate at the hands of this masked man but Spain saves him at the last moment.

He supposes he doesn't really _mean_ it when he says anywhere with Spain is hell. Although his pride is wounded, he sucks it up and thanks Spain. And what does Spain do in return? That smiley bastard tries to come on him! What pedophilia!

Life is not easy in Spain's house, but he supposes it _is_ bearable…

--

When Romano finally grows up, Spain is more than happy to let him come and go as he pleases. The passionate freak still thinks he has control over the pubescent country. When Romano leaves and goes back home, Spain is back a few days later at his door, looking tired from lack of sleep. When he opens the door, Spain falls into the doorway, nearly crushing him.

"Dammit, Spain, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Spain breathes a sigh of relief. "I didn't want you to be carted off by Turkey now that you're older and legal."

Romano feels the need to smack Spain silly but the older man has fallen asleep on him but when he throws the latter onto his couch, he doesn't use as much force as he thought he would.

--

When Romano matures, so does his feelings for Spain.

Before, whenever he saw Spain, he got the fiercest feeling of beating the man to the ground. Now, he feels the same, but only because Spain is so _dense_; whenever they see each other, Spain feels the need to greet him as he greeted him in the past. Times had changed, dammit, and he didn't need another clingy body in his radius. It was always embarrassing because Spain did so whenever there were people around and everyone already knew about their history together.

When Romano told Spain to stop, surprising the dark-haired man did so.

It became so much that Romano wanted to tackle Spain just to feel the bodily contact once more. And it got even worse – the Balkan Peninsula was friendly with so many other nations! Why hadn't Romano noticed this before? France had always been Spain's neighbor but were they always talking like this?

Gods, he hates Spain _loves him_ so much, he just wants to bite _kiss_ him so that he would finally understand that Romano meant business and that he had always hated _liked him but now so much it physically hurt_

Again, the desire to make a dent in the other man's happy-go-lucky attitude overcame him and he had to do something, _something_ that would stop the smile and hurt Spain so much that…Romano didn't know why, but he guessed the reason would just reveal itself in due time.

--

Yes, Romano has been loose with women before (what nation hasn't?) but it gets serious when it involves other nations. He is afraid of Hungary, the hentai country, and the Russia sisters rarely look his way. Besides, he figures if he picks someone so unexpected it would just cause Spain more pain and he wants that.

Germany was unwilling before but Romano was able to reason out that it would help with Feliciano, and like magic, the very name had swayed the gruff nation. He hadn't thought Germany would agree, since the blonde _was_ in something with his brother but neither really decided to give it much thought. The whims of the countries changed day by day and this was just a temporary alliance.

It's not his first time doing the deed but he'd always thought Spain would be the other participant…damn that man, even the mention of the dark-haired nation made him feel funny and he rubbed the cotton sheets underneath him awkwardly.

"Are you sure about this?" Germany muttered.

He had always hated Germany, ever since his brother started getting involved but this was just an experimentation, just a one night stand. Countries had broken treaties before (after all, look at America and England and their relationship was complicated enough) so this would be no different but why did it just feel more awkward than it should?

"Yes, I'm fine dammit. Continue."

"But you're crying." This soft way of speaking tipped Romano off that this was a phrase Germany was used to saying, probably toward his younger brother. Thinking about their relationship was enough to make him feel angry enough, strengthening his resolve. A bit.

"It's okay. Shut up about it, dammit."

They continued half-heartedly.

--

"I had sex with Germany."

Romano spits it out the morning after, when he and Spain get brunch together because Spain insists that they do some fun nation-to-nation bonding. Somehow they had picked the same place where Greece had decided to take Japan too and they were (to Romano's annoyance) sitting at the same table. No matter. They wouldn't stop what he had to say. Greece was too busy wit his cats and Japan was eating as if he wasn't listening but Romano knew he was.

"Last night?" Spain asks, his voice more curious than accusing. It catches Romano off guard.

"Yes."

"Oh. I hope it went well. You're not hurt, are you?" When Romano shakes his head slowly, staring at Spain's apathy at the subject, the older nation smiles simply at him before turning to talk to Greece about trade deficits. He had been _hoping_ for a bit of agitation, if not passionate to reclaim what was rightfully his, but Romano was not expecting absolutely nothing. It was just what he deserved for expecting too much; this was Spain, after all. But he thought…at least, maybe a _sign_…he catches Japan's eye, who neither looks disapproving from his alliance with Germany and his brother, nor nosy. Just sad.

Without another word, Romano leaves the table and the restaurant itself. Spain does not follow. When the door closes behind him, he runs. Where to, he has no idea, but just somewhere. Anyway. When he slows, he has reached the outskirts of town where the buildings are beginning to thin and grass grows rampant. He is aware that he is crying again, an awful habit he hasn't been able to kick since childhood.

His mission to make Spain cry backfired and was only causing tears shed for himself.

--

Germany has not told Feliciano and the only one(s) Romano has told is Spain and Japan. The word does not spread. It does not need to. It was a one-time thing, a mistake. Mistakes of that sort can be forgiven, forgotten. It is better that no one knows.

Sometimes Romano has dreams of Spain. They have become more frequent as of late. They end in one of two ways: either Spain returns his affections and the dream ends happily; or Spain doesn't return his affections and accuses him of taking the relationship too far. Either way, he wakes up in a sweat and he isn't able to return to sleep for a while.

--

Dense people don't stay dense forever. Eventually, time eats away at them, showing them the light.

"Romano, do you like me?"

It has been so long since Romano has wanted to hear this question that he wants to deny it, to dash Spain's hopes on a rock with a brutal, "No, I never have." But he can't bring himself to do it. Rather, he wants to but his body reacts regardless. He opens his mouth to refute it but no words come out, only tears (goddamn tears) stream down his face and that's confession enough.

Spain takes him, and for once, Romano allows himself to be taken.

With the water falling around them and Spain placing butterfly kisses along his collarbone, Romano feels the need to apologize, to wipe the slate clean. "Ah…Spain…the thing with Germany…s-sorry…"

Spain looks at him and both know better than to say, "It's okay," because it's not. He kisses both of Romano's flushed cheeks the Italian way, the way the Italian knows it, and says, "I accept your apology."

Because it's not okay but some day it won't matter anymore and become a thing of the past. It is how they both want it and Spain starts burying on the time by attempting to lick every inch of Romano dry.

--

After a while, the day finds Romano dozing off in Spain's sheets, which are white and starchy like Germany's but somehow they're better, Romano again does not know why. How could he have known that life as he knew it could be changed in such short time yet he had been waiting and wanting for it to happen for so long? Better late then never, as they say.

He knew things couldn't stay peachy forever. The world changed, bosses and internal conflicts could drive countries apart. Spain might not be able to be on such intimate terms with him in the future.

But hell, he'd always been selfish. If he could be happy now, he would be. And America be damned if he couldn't come up with a way to keep it this way. Spain reached over and tried to pull him close, but Romano resisted. He finally had what he wanted and his pride was coming back.

"Don't think that suddenly changed everything and we can be all huggy-huggy all the time, got it? Dammit!"

Spain only laughed.

Owari

--

Note: Romano makes life hard for Spain, then Spain makes life hard for Romano. It's a fair world. I'm afraid I made Romano a bit too weepy in this one. I watered it out a bit (laugh) and that's something his brother would seem to do. Sublime Greece/Japan because I love. Don't get your knickers in a knot just because Germany cheated on Italy. It's a fanfic, and many seem to enjoy this pairing so I write for you. I do it for YOU. So YOU can be nice and leave me a REVIEW. Also, if you are going to favorite it, REVIEW. And you should not be putting it on ALERT because this is a ONESHOT. Which you should REVIEW. Or I'll throw more angst at you, which is probably what you want, you sadistic SOBs. (laughs again)


End file.
